Penarth

Well I've decided to leave where I've been volunteering but not until I've had a discussion with the director of the charity. I want to be able to tailor the way I say things in the right way (what I learnt on the Mindfields College Communication seminar will be useful) and emphasise the positives before commenting on the negatives. The positives being a relaxed place for volunteers to find their feet, being included in meetings and awaydays and being informed of what's going on. The negatives are not being given enough of a variety of administrative tasks and not being kept busy therefore we don't learn much and the paid staff then find it hard to keep up with the work. Surely it only takes five minutes to show somebody a task which would take much longer saving time in the long run. Also I feel things could be sorted out in a one to one discussion but instead a task group gets set up. Sometimes when I make complaints I speak for all the volunteers. Yes, a lot of things have been sorted out but what about anything that occurs in the future? It shouldn't have to go through lots of committees at different levels. For example the conference stewards uniform being to hot and heavy to wear. Instead of discussing that at the conference task group the conference organiser could have just asked the stewards at the stewards' daily briefing during the conference after I brought it up. Charities can be so wasteful with resources. Doing everything in triplicate is fine for a government department but not for a charity though I do think that the paid staff should be paid well in order to attract the right calibre of people for demanding specialist roles. Then there's this tokenism treatment of volunteers who have better things to do than come in and sit there just answering the phone (not so relevant with the virtual switchboard) and not be kept busy.

I went to Penarth for the first time in weeks. Went to the anxiety group for the first time in months except Caroline was there to ruin the atmosphere with her like to be the centre of attention but isn't interested in what you say attitude. People made excuses to leave. Was hopping mad so chatted to one of the workers about leaving my voluntary job. Went to the park to see the cockatiels; there are lutinos there now and then had a latte with Baileys on the sea front to help me calm down. Only the feeling didn't last for ever once I was back in Cardiff. Took the bass guitar and amp back to Tiny and he was grateful but he made me feel guilty about having the chance to sell it two weeks' ago. Well that's his fault for not contacting me and losing my e-mail address.

I'm back home, now sleepy and tired after watching a Madonna documentary and "Three Men in a boat" going along the River Thames. I'm going away Wednesday. I was going tomorrow but because of my lengthy period I'm not ready to go and want it to finish before I leave. Back in Penarth tomorrow morning. It makes me feel good that place but this year it's been either too cold up until end of April and then it became very hot with only a very short period of mild temperatures. There was no spring this year; a pity because then I can get a lot done.