My first post

Well that's my introduction so on with the first post.

I've been feeling a bit stressed lately what with preparing for my ECDL test (it was postponed today) and my flat being in a bit of a mess. Finding a plumber to install a shower is a bit of a trial too. I was so looking forward to one coming last Tuesday after having an estimate done on Sunday.

What's more I've actually seen Madonna live in the Cardiff Millenium Stadium recently. I never intended to go but ended up buying a ticket on impulse when extra tickets were released as somebody wanted me to go with her. However we fell out two days beforehand and I chose to go alone. She was so desperate to have somebody to go with her she tried to make friends with me but it didn't work out. I didn't want to be her new best friend; friendship has to develop gradually. I don't go looking for a best friend but just a collection of more loose friends as I like to have a wide circle of friends rather than be suffocated by one particular person. I'm not at school anymore and it's impossible to have everything in common with just one person. There's nobody in the world who is exactly the same as another. A cult can form between two people and not just be business or religion based. The funny thing was that I used to be a fan of Madonna up in the eighties but not anymore but she did put on a jolly good show with theatrics and backing dancers. At least I can say I've seen her.

The reason why I've let everything get on top of me is that I've been ill through most of the winter and spring. It was extremely cold and I suffer from poor circulation, then I had a nasty stomach upset and wasn't able to eat a full meal for weeks plus the Lomotil prescribed for me made me sleep round the clock and then there were the migraines which were linked to toothache. I went to a private dentist in May and persuaded him to take the offending tooth but it took six weeks for the gap to heal. Penicillin prescribed for the resulting infection knocked me for six. It was also painful to eat so I had to be careful and would often be weak with hunger as I existed on breakfast shakes. When you have a tooth extracted you think that you will be in pain only for the first few days afterwards and then be fully recovered a week again. In fact that is when the real pain starts. It takes up to 48 hours for the local anaesthetics to wear off and then ibuprofen will keep the pain at bay leaving only a mild soreness. Days later and the ibuprofen stops working as your body becomes accustomed to it. As soon as I fully recovered the heatwaves started. Oh for a bit of rain.

That all sounds a bit depressing but I think one of the main reasons for my constant illnesses is my involvement in mental health services both as a user and a volunteer. I need to get out and live my life; do all the things I gave up as more and more meetings and commitments encroached on my time or I could stay for a while and fight from within so at least I can say I tried to put my viewpoints across. I can then say I wasn't listened to when I challenge the mental health system from a vantage point. Become a survivor instead of a user. I'm not the only one who's feeling this way. Mental health campaigning and volunteering can drain you emotionally leaving you susceptible to physical illnesses as your immune system takes a battering. Rates of sick leave are extremely high in mental health charities even among normally healthy employees. What do I want to do now. Well get my flat straight for a start and then do some environmental campaigning which is much more uplifting and trendy/media friendly as I was doing before.