Setting the Scene

My name is Sugar Rush, though not my real name, just a pen name for obvious reasons. The reason why I started this blog is to expose the abuses in charity based mental health services. I have been a mental health service user for the past ten years and a volunteer for mental health charities for the past six years. The abuses in the statutory sector, namely the National Health Service and the local authorities are well known but there is very little written about the charity or third sector which is what I will be concentrating on. I have to remain anonymous except to trusted personal friends who are in sympathy with what I'm doing.

I have suffered from intermittent depression and on-going anxiety for much of my life due to an unhappy family life; we were often moving around from town to town and I never felt at home. I also had happier moments and would get a bit high or excited but it was nothing to worry as I was quite good at hiding my feelings and containing them. It's other people who have a problem with my bursts of activity and driven nature at times as well as the odd outburst and try to medicalise the situation with the label of "mania". Back in London in the eighties this state of mind would have been considered the norm and not a psychiatric issue. Besides the so-called mania was a welcome break from the usual emptiness and flatness I felt and I only wished it would last. However it was never serious.

Then I came to Wales to live from abroad and then I encountered mental health services. I was lonely and in particular wanted to meet other women for friendship as I was not looking for a relationship at the time. Instead of joining a mixed singles group I joined the first women's group I could find which was affiliated to a national mental health charity because it provided a stress group on Saturday mornings where we could learn to relax and talk honestly about our feelings. I was suffering somewhat from agoraphobia and would find myself shaking in the street and avoiding the city centre because of culture shock. It was so different from mainland Europe where the social life revolved around restaurants rather than bars and night clubs and binge drinkers were rare and was a lot less cultured. I could not find community and solace in church as I had done in England and abroad. Something was missing. I felt judged more and had to fight to be accepted.

I found help through the mental health charity but that help can be a two edged sword. It can lead to a state of complaincy. I found counsellors who merely listened and offered little structure, direction or feedback leading me to wander aimlessly in my therapy. This was both financially consuming and time consuming.